74. Respond Versus React

Too many times we react to a situation because our instinctual response is not thought through. It’s just our hard-wired fight-or-flight primal response. When we might immediately disagree or get defensive, others see the “reaction” and then shut down or, even worse, escalate into an unhealthy debate or even start yelling.

When responding, take time to think about what happened, evaluate your options, and then decide on the best course of action. Maybe the best path is to step away or “take a beat.” If you are about to “react,” ask yourself if this is time to consider a better “response.” Sometimes a simple question like the one on the next page can keep you from reacting and defuse your natural reactions or those of others.

Borrowing from Viktor Frankl with my own spin on his quote, “Between stim­ulus and response is choice, choose wisely.”

Can you tell me more about that?