Have you ever seen a major problem blow up? You know how it goes—everyone is called into that fateful meeting, heart pounding, wondering if it’s their head on the chopping block while wishing an invisibility cloak actually existed. Let’s admit it, we all tend to want to blame others for problems. We might even admit a guilty pleasure in watching others suffer when it’s not us.
But it’s our job as leaders to find the cause, not pile on the shame. No one does the wrong thing for the wrong reason. We can’t expect our team to grow from their mistakes if we chastise them so severely that they look like an abused puppy dog cowering in the corner. One way to break the cycle of violence and madness is to ask different questions. Questions can help reframe the issue and put the focus where it belongs (away from the anger and the blame). Consider substituting blame and shame questions with new questions based on the one on the next page.